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Hi Evan, I just found your website and wish I’d read it YEARS ago… I get frustrated if I feel he’s not doing those things, and rather than make what is usually the classic girl mistake of calling/texting him all the time, I decide I’m about to get hurt and “freeze” him out.

My question is this: I take on board all of your “he’s just not that into you”reasoning, and also your comments on how to tell if a man is truly interested (calling, making plans, etc.) My problem, historically, is that if I really genuinely like a guy (which sadly does not happen that often,) I expect these things to happen right away.

And if he writes you a long, warm text message, you respond to him in kind.

That way, you’re never pushing him away with neediness, and always keeping the door open for possibility.

But, because I didn’t hear from him for 5 days, I went super cool on him, defriended him from Facebook, etc…A few weeks on now, the red mist has cleared.

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