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I pride myself on being a kind of ambassador to trans sex. What I’m really seeking is affirmation of my womanhood, and this is the most available means of doing it.

No one is more anxious about their sexuality that straight cis men, no one more frightened of being labeled “gay.” This is especially true for first-timers.

I made it out unharmed that night, but many women like me don’t.

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Straight women dating gay men

Vallum was a member of the Latin Kings, which forbids homosexual acts, and he was afraid word would get out.

It’s a particularly tragic story because it all hinges on the belief that a man having sex with a trans woman is a homosexual act. That fact underpins his whole defense and is supported by the accounts of others, particularly his mother.

He opens the door and my doubts are immediately eclipsed by desire: He’s tall, built, incredibly handsome.

The darkness I heard in his voice now becomes a sexy broodiness in my eyes.

On May 15, 2017, Vallum became the first person convicted of a hate crime for killing a trans person and was sentenced to 49 years. While his action was unforgivable, he was surrounded by people who found it inconceivable that a straight man would willingly be with a trans woman.