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Instead, we share the hurtful words of our exes with our rebounds, who reassure us that the hurtful words aren’t true.
This is part of why we like rebounding so much: it reminds us that we are still lovable and teaches us not to define ourselves by what our ex-spouses think. In our effort to put less stock in our ex-spouses opinions, which are largely negative, we put too much stock in our rebound’s opinions, which are largely positive.
Rebounding isn’t something that happens once with a single partner; it’s an emotional state that a grieving person undergoes after a break-up, and there isn’t a limit on how long that grieving takes, nor are there fool-proof steps to get through the grief faster.◊♦◊We all have our own selfish reasons for leaving our partners, just as we sometimes have our own selfish reasons for staying.
Even after the ugliest of break-ups, we grieve that our ex finds the right partner.
The fact that they were wrong for us doesn’t mean they deserve to be alone and miserable for the rest of their life.