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YOU need to stop thinking about the past and start thinking of your future.
Could it be a rebound or possibly a midlife crisis? I dated a doctor who was divorced slowly we started talking and I fell in love with him. We fought regularly and one fight just pushed me over the edge. Oh look at me, I'm in a new relationship I have had the same experience.
Yet for some reason it seems I'm still having dreams about being with my ex...frequently. We talked for a year, then I took a trip to Vegas to meet her for the first time. I know it sounds stupid, but if I would have been more mature and handled it better, the coulda, shoulda, wouldas all hit me and I have not been over it and am STILL not over it.
Usually in the dreams we just meet up and talk or have sex, but either way it feels really good and then I wake up feeling really bad. Had a strong connection online which anyone would because it's 'over the internet and not real life'. Spent 3 to 4 hours with her the night before I left (her schedule for work at the Bellagio had me just playing golf and waiting to see her......) The 3 to 4 hours made me realize what could happen. She says "Ok, let's do it......can live with me" while she was giggling. I'm married now for almost 3 years, but still have dreams of her, have been to Vegas with my wife and hoped to see her, and look up info about her regarding her horse shows, but don't contact her.
However, they were friends in the early 90s, and obviously they are not that close any longer.